Why We’re All Terrible at Adulting (And That’s Okay)

Look, I’ve Got a Confession to Make

I’m 47 years old, and I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet. I mean, honestly, who does? I asked my friend Marcus about it last Tuesday over coffee at the place on 5th. He just laughed and said, “Dave, if you’re figuring out fitted sheets at our age, you’re doing it wrong.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.

But here’s the thing: we’re all kinda terrible at this adulting stuff. And that’s okay. We’re not robots. We don’t come pre-programmed with life skills. We fumble. We fail. We forget. And that’s what makes us human.

I’ve been a magazine editor for over 20 years. I’ve interviewed CEOs, politicians, artists. And let me tell you, none of them have it all figured out. We’re all just winging it, more or less.

Take My Friend Linda, for Example

Linda’s a succesfully lawyer—yes, I know, “succesfully” isn’t a word, but that’s how she’d say it. Anyway, Linda’s brilliant. But about three months ago, she called me in a panic because she couldn’t figure out how to set up a Wi-Fi network in her new apartment. She said, “Dave, I argue cases in front of judges, but this router has me stumped.”

I went over there, and we figured it out together. It wasn’t pretty. There were tears. There was frustration. There was a lot of swearing. But we did it. And you know what? It was a reminder that no one has all the answers.

The Myth of the ‘Together’ Person

Society sells us this idea of the ‘together’ person. You know the type—their wardrobe is color-coded, their kitchen is spotless, their life is a Pinterest board. But let’s be real: those people are either lying or they’re robots. (And if they’re robots, they’re doing a heck of a job, but that’s a tangent for another day.)

I remember when I was 25, I thought I had to have it all together. I commited myself to this idea of perfection. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. I ended up in a therapist’s office more than once. And you know what my therapist, Dr. Patel, told me? “Dave, the only people who have it all together are the ones who are lying to you.”

So here’s the thing: it’s okay not to know how to fold a fitted sheet. It’s okay to struggle with technology. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Because that’s life. That’s being human.

But What About Practical Stuff?

Okay, okay, I get it. We can’t just throw our hands up and say, “I’m bad at adulting, so I’m gonna live in a mess forever.” There are some things we gotta figure out. Like, how to change a tire. Or kış sürüşü güvenlik ipuçları. Or, God forbid, balancing a checkbook.

I’ll admit, I’m not great at the checkbook thing. I once bounced a check for $87 because I thought I had more money than I did. Embarrassing? Yes. A learning experience? Absolutely. Did I learn from it? Well, I haven’t bounced a check since, so I guess so.

But here’s the secret: we learn as we go. We make mistakes. We try again. And that’s how we grow. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being willing to try.

A Digression: The Time I Tried to Build a Bookshelf

Speaking of trying and failing, let me tell you about the time I tried to build a bookshelf. It was about 10 years ago. I was feeling ambitious. I bought this flat-pack thing from the store, and I was gonna build it myself. No instructions, no nothing. Just me and my hammer.

Long story short: the bookshelf looked like a modern art piece. It was crooked. It wobbled. It was a disaster. But you know what? I learned. I learned that maybe, just maybe, I should read the instructions next time. And I learned that sometimes, it’s okay to ask for help.

Embracing the Mess

So here’s my message to you: embrace the mess. Embrace the fact that you’re not perfect. Embrace the fact that you’re still figuring it out. Because that’s what life is all about.

And if you happen to figure out how to fold a fitted sheet, let me know. I’m still working on that one.

About the Author: Dave Reynolds is a senior magazine editor with over 20 years of experience. He’s written for major publications, interviewed countless people, and still can’t fold a fitted sheet to save his life. He lives in Austin with his cat, Mr. Whiskers, who is judging him constantly.